Sleep sucks.

It's late. Like 2:35 late. And I wish I was asleep but at the same time I don't want to be. Sleeping has been something to fight for the past four or so months. Not really sure why... just was something that was never as enjoyable as it used to be. I love bed, just not sleeping... napping is like a taste of heaven... but overnight sleeping... I wouldn't even bother with it if I didn't have to... and I've tried that... it gets a little sketchy. Am I falling apart? It's so two sided.

Doesn't make any sense cause you'd think sleep would be a release from thinking about all the stuff I miss... but maybe I want to be awake if it ever changes... I'm sure it's all very subconscious. Stupid subconscious... and now that I'm far from home, I have much more to miss, still one in particular which is what plagues me the most... just laying here making the choice to stay awake and just think.... about what I don't have? What I hope for? What I'm afraid of losing? I'll tell myself when I figure it out... stupid sleeping.

I need an off switch. Or a teleporter... or both.

Sorry, kinda deep, dark Mark there for a second. I'll be brighter tomorrow.

Sleep tight everyone.